Some ways we can develop self-acceptance

As Nathaniel Branden says: “If we are to grow and change, we must begin by learning self-acceptance”.

For me it was really hard to understand the concept of self-acceptance. In fact, I was afraid of this word because I thought that if I accepted myself nothing was going to change for me. So I kept resisting.

I now finally understand that to be self-accepting it means not to be in war within myself. To be self-accepting makes the concepts of approval or disapproval irrelevant and makes me be more aware of myself.

For example, if I say:

“ I don’t like to be afraid of what people think of me. I like to get rid of it”.

With this statement I am denying the fact that I am afraid, I do not want to feel this way. This is not self-acceptance. But, if on the other hand, I say:

“ I don’t like to be afraid of what people think of me. I have this fear. I accept the fact that I am afraid and I accept it”.

Saying these statements puts me in a different position. First, I am aware of this fear, second I am taking responsibility for my feelings and not denying them, and third because I am aware, and I am taking responsibility I am more open to accept this fact. Now, I am ready to do something about it and change my attitude.

When I can accept myself, I have put myself on the side of reality rather than attempting to fight reality. I am more conscious and I am not living on denial of my present condition. This way I am a position to have a healthier self-esteem